Who would have thought?

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

I just love these kind of list

So as to not be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if :


1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercing and none are visible

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze

5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian

8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula

9. You can't remember is pot illegal?

10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears

11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast

12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S

13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless
chaps, and you don't even notice

14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks' wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney

15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment

16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S &M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag

17. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

18. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH"

19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 pm Tae Bo class

20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers

21. It'! s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents . . .

22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????

23. Both you AND your dog have therapists . . .

and lastly

24. The Terminator is your Governor

Cocks and Beavers

You're fucking kidding me, right??!!!

Christian group takes on their next target.

Forget Tinky Winky from the Telletubbies.

Forget about Barney.

Sponge Bob needs to stop holding his best friend Patricks hand and stop watching the cartoon, "Mermaid Man and Barnicle Boy!"

Coolest thing ever done with just a piece of paper...

Taken from Him.

Grand Illusion

Check out the video, then print your own pdf version and try it yourself.

Two Gay Guys are walking through a zoo...

They come across the gorillas and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this. One of the men just can't bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it.

The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for six hours, nonstop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by....When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage.

An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.

A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"

"AM I HURT?!!" he shouts, "Wouldn't you be!!? He hasn't called....he hasn't written.....!!!!"

(sorry still LOVE that joke)

Why Biker Shorts should be black.

Sounds like a fun job to me...

An elderly man lay dying in his bed.

In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort inched himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven. There, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table, were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he moved himself toward the table. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was almost already in his mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life.

The aged and withered hand, shakily made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

"Stay out of those," she said, "they're for the funeral."